The Screening Process That Keeps Escorts Safe

When Rachel gets a new booking request, she doesn't think about the money first. She thinks about whether this person might hurt her. Every inquiry, every polite email or text message, gets run through a mental algorithm she's developed over five years of escort work. The screening process, she told me over coffee in Brooklyn, is the difference between going home safe and becoming a statistic that nobody talks about.

The first red flag is always the communication style. Clients who refuse to provide basic information, who get angry when asked questions, who try to negotiate rates before they're even approved as clients, usually get rejected immediately. "You learn to read tone," Rachel explained. "A real client understands that screening protects both of us. Someone who pushes back against basic safety measures is telling you exactly who they are. Believe them." She showed me her phone, scrolling through messages. Most were polite and professional. A few were aggressive or entitled. Those, she said, get blocked without a second thought.

For clients who pass the initial communication test, the real screening begins. Rachel requires a reference from another escort the potential client has seen, or alternatively, verification of their real identity through work information. She uses services that check employment records, cross-references social media profiles, and confirms that the person is who they claim to be. It takes time and sometimes costs money, but Rachel considers it non-negotiable. She's heard too many stories from other escorts who skipped screening and paid dearly for it.

The reference system among all escorts is something I find remarkable. There's an informal but highly organized network where women share information about clients, flagging dangerous ones and vouching for safe regulars. Rachel is part of several private online communities where escorts post alerts about men who've been violent, refused to pay, or violated boundaries. "We protect each other," she said simply. "The police won't. The law doesn't. So we do." She told me about a client who seemed perfectly normal until another escort posted a warning about him becoming aggressive when drinking. Rachel cancelled his appointment and later learned he'd assaulted an escort in New Jersey who hadn't seen the warning.

But screening isn't foolproof, and Rachel was honest about its limitations. Some dangerous clients are smart enough to pass all the checks. They have real jobs and clean records. They know how to seem respectful in messages. They've seen other escorts who didn't experience problems with them, or who were too scared to report what happened. "You can do everything right and still end up in a bad situation," Rachel admitted. "That's the reality we live with. Every single appointment carries risk, no matter how careful you are."

The screening process also creates its own problems. Legitimate clients sometimes bristle at having to provide so much personal information. They worry about privacy, about what happens to their data, about being exposed. Rachel understands their concerns but refuses to compromise her safety for their comfort. She's lost bookings over her strict screening requirements, but she's also avoided situations that could have ended very badly. "Some men think we're being paranoid or difficult," she said. "They don't understand that women in this work get assaulted and murdered. It's not theoretical danger. It's real, and it's constant."

What weighs on Rachel most is knowing that the most vulnerable escorts often can't afford thorough screening. Independent escorts working at lower rates, especially those who are desperate for income, sometimes skip steps they know they shouldn't skip. They see clients without references because they need the money too badly to turn anyone away. "That's how women get hurt," Rachel said quietly. "Not because they're careless, but because they're poor. Because they can't afford to be as selective as I can be. That's what people don't understand. Safety in this escort work is a luxury, and not everyone can afford it."

As we finished our coffee, I asked Rachel if she ever feels truly safe going to appointments, even with all her screening protocols. She looked at me for a long moment before answering. "No," she said finally. "I feel safer than I would without screening, but I never feel safe. Every time I walk into a hotel room or an apartment, there's a moment where I think, this could be it. This could be the one where something goes wrong. I text my friend when I arrive and when I leave. I keep my phone in my hand. I position myself near the door. And I pray that my screening was good enough. That's what safety looks like in this job. Not actual security, just calculated risk and hope that you calculated correctly."