Planning My Escape (And Why It's Harder Than You'd Think)

Posted by Julia | 9 min read

I'm 23 years old and I'm already planning my exit strategy from escort work. That might sound weird - most people my age are just figuring out what career they want to start, and here I am trying to figure out how to leave one behind.

But here's the thing about this work: it has an expiration date whether you want to acknowledge it or not. And the transition out is way more complicated than just deciding to do something else.

Let me tell you about the realities of planning for life after escort work, because it's something that keeps me up at night and shapes almost every decision I make right now.

My Current Exit Timeline

I've been doing this work for two years, and my goal is to transition out completely within the next three years. That gives me five years total to save money, finish school, and build a foundation for whatever comes next.

Right now I'm taking online classes toward a business degree while working. It's slow going because my schedule is weird and unpredictable, but I'm about halfway through my bachelor's program.

The plan is to finish school, do some internships or entry-level work in marketing or business development, and gradually reduce my escort clients until I can support myself through traditional work alone.

Sounds simple, right? It's not.

The Money Trap

The biggest challenge is financial. Right now I make more money than most college graduates earn in their first jobs. How do you voluntarily take a massive pay cut when you've gotten used to a certain lifestyle?

Last month I made $6,200 gross. An entry-level marketing job in my city pays maybe $35,000-40,000 per year, which works out to about $2,900-3,300 per month gross.

So transitioning out means cutting my income by at least half, probably more when you consider that entry-level jobs often require taking unpaid internships first.

I've watched other girls get trapped by this. They plan to leave "soon" but keep postponing it because they can't figure out how to maintain their lifestyle on a regular salary. Years go by and suddenly they're 30, then 35, still doing work they intended to be temporary.

That's not going to be me, but I understand how it happens.

The Skills Nobody Talks About

Here's something that might surprise people - this work has actually taught me a ton of skills that are valuable in regular careers. The problem is figuring out how to put them on a resume without explaining where I learned them.

Customer service and client management: I've become amazing at reading people, managing difficult personalities, setting boundaries professionally, and providing excellent service even when dealing with challenging situations.

Marketing and self-promotion: Building a personal brand, creating compelling advertising, using social media strategically, understanding target demographics - I've learned all of this firsthand.

Financial management: Budgeting irregular income, tracking business expenses, managing taxes as an independent contractor, saving for uncertain futures - skills that are super valuable for any entrepreneurial work.

Crisis management: De-escalating tense situations, thinking quickly under pressure, maintaining professionalism when things go wrong - these are executive-level skills.

Time management: Balancing multiple client relationships, scheduling appointments efficiently, managing work-life boundaries - all transferable to any client-facing role.

The frustrating part is that I can't exactly put "Two years experience in high-end client services and personal marketing" on my resume without raising questions I don't want to answer.

The Employment Gap Problem

I graduated high school five years ago. For the past two years, I've been working as an escort while taking online classes. Before that, I had various retail and restaurant jobs.

So when I apply for professional jobs, how do I explain what I've been doing for the past two years?

I've been experimenting with different approaches. Sometimes I say I was focusing on school full-time. Sometimes I mention freelance consulting work. I've considered claiming I was caring for a sick family member.

None of these feel great because they're not entirely true, but "I was working as an escort" isn't exactly going to get me interviews at marketing agencies.

I know other girls who've created fake freelance businesses or volunteer positions to explain their employment gaps. It's not ideal, but the alternative is basically being unemployable in traditional careers.

The Reference Challenge

Normal job applications ask for professional references. Who am I supposed to list?

I can't use clients as references, obviously. I can't use the agency I worked for. I can't use other escorts I've worked with.

So I'm stuck with references from my pre-escort work - managers from retail jobs I had three years ago who probably barely remember me.

This is one reason I'm trying to do some unpaid internships and volunteer work now, while I'm still doing escort work. I need to build relationships with people who can vouch for my professional abilities without knowing about my current income source.

It's like living a double life, except the secret life is the one that pays for everything.

The Identity Shift

There's also this weird psychological aspect to planning your exit from sex work that I wasn't prepared for.

For two years, I've been building confidence and skills in this industry. I'm good at what I do. I understand the business, I have loyal clients, I make good money. In this world, I'm successful.

The idea of starting over as a 25-year-old entry-level employee in some office, making less money than I made this week, having to prove myself all over again? That's terrifying.

There's also this question of whether I'll miss aspects of this work. The flexibility, the autonomy, the interesting people I meet, the variety in my schedule. What if regular office work is boring and restrictive?

I've talked to girls who've successfully transitioned out, and a lot of them went through a period of feeling lost or questioning whether they made the right choice. The adjustment isn't just financial - it's psychological too.

Success Stories That Give Me Hope

But I've also seen successful transitions, and they give me hope that this is possible.

My friend Ashley left escort work two years ago and now runs a successful social media marketing agency. She used the customer service and marketing skills she learned from escort work, plus the money she saved, to build her own business instead of working for someone else.

Another girl I know, Carmen, transitioned into real estate. She says the skills she learned reading people and building relationships with clients translated perfectly to helping people buy and sell homes. Plus, real estate is one of those careers where having an unconventional background doesn't matter as much if you're successful.

I also know someone who went back to school for nursing. Healthcare is desperate for workers, and once you're licensed, no one cares what you did before as long as you can do the job well.

The common thread in successful transitions seems to be finding careers that value people skills, where relationship-building and customer service are important, and where performance matters more than pedigree.

The School Balancing Act

Taking classes while working as an escort is its own special challenge. My schedule is completely unpredictable, which makes it hard to plan study time or attend virtual office hours.

Plus, there's the financial pressure. Every hour I spend studying is an hour I'm not earning money. When you're used to making $300-400 per hour, it's hard to justify spending time on homework that doesn't immediately pay you anything.

Some weeks I get really motivated about school and plan to spend less time working so I can focus on classes. Then I get a bunch of booking requests and it's hard to say no to the money, especially when I know that money is supposed to fund my transition out.

It's a constant balance between short-term earning and long-term planning.

The Stigma Reality

Even after I transition out of escort work, the stigma doesn't just disappear. I'll always have to worry about someone discovering my past and using it against me.

What if I'm successful in a new career and someone figures out what I used to do? Could I lose everything I'd built? Would clients or employers care about something I did when I was young?

I've thought about moving to a different city when I transition, just to minimize the chances of running into former clients or having my past discovered. Starting completely fresh somewhere new.

But that means leaving behind any professional connections I've built here, which makes the transition even harder.

The Support System Challenge

Most career transitions happen with support from family, friends, mentors, or professional networks. When you're transitioning out of sex work, a lot of those support systems aren't available.

I can't ask my family for help with job networking because they don't know what I do for work. I can't ask friends from college because I've lost touch with most of New York Asian Escorts. I can't ask professional contacts because I don't really have any outside of this industry.

So I'm basically trying to build a new career from scratch without the usual support systems that help people make professional transitions.

It's doable, but it's lonely and requires way more self-reliance than most career changes.

Financial Planning for the Unknown

The other challenge is that I don't know exactly how much money I'll need to make this transition successfully. How much should I save? How long will it take to build up to a livable income in a new field?

I'm trying to save at least $30,000 before I stop doing escort work. That should cover living expenses for about a year while I establish myself in something new. But is that enough? What if it takes longer than I expect?

Meanwhile, I'm also trying to pay for school, maintain my current lifestyle, and handle the unpredictable expenses that come with this work. It's a lot of financial juggling.

Why I'm Determined to Make It Work

Despite all these challenges, I'm committed to transitioning out because I know this work isn't sustainable long-term. The physical demands, the legal risks, the social stigma, the limited career timeline - all of it adds up to something I can't do forever.

More importantly, I want to build something that's mine. A career that I can be proud of publicly, that I can grow and develop over decades, that doesn't require hiding who I am or what I do.

This work has been good to me financially and taught me valuable skills. But it's also been isolating and stressful in ways that I don't want to carry for the rest of my life.

The transition out is going to be hard, but staying would be harder.

Three years from now, I want to be writing different blog posts - maybe about starting my own business, or succeeding in a new career, or helping other people make similar transitions.

Right now, I'm just taking it one class and one saved dollar at a time.

Julia

Career transitions are challenging for everyone, but particularly complex for those leaving stigmatized industries. Support organizations and career counselors who specialize in these transitions can be valuable resources.